Q: My wife wants to charge our son rent now that he’s finished school and moving back home. I’m not comfortable with that and want him to feel that he’s always welcome no matter how old he is. What do we do?
A: It’s a tough question, and it’s something many parents of young adults struggle with today. If you don’t charge him anything, you risk enabling a lifestyle of doing nothing and feeling no motivation to get a job or to get ahead in life. If you do charge him rent or expenses, you risk feelings of resentment.
Here’s a possible solution. Charge your son rent, so he knows there are costs involved and doesn’t take you for granted. At the same time, take those payments he makes each month, or part of those payments, and deposit them into a savings account at the credit union. This may seem to defeat the purpose, but you don’t have to tell him what you’re doing. Instead, it’ll be a nice surprise when he does move out and you hand him the statement on the account that you’ve been building for him. Even if you want to let him know about it, explain that it’s important to you that he learn to budget while you’re holding the money (or part of it) for him in an account that you’ll turn over to him once he’s on his own.
Of course, you may just decide to charge your son rent. Many people do. Just be sure it’s an amount he can comfortably pay, and keep the lines of communication open.